Stupid Theory
I jus made a stupid theory.. I dunno y.. Basically its lyk this.. When girls lyk guys, they are always rejected.. This, i cn say frm experience.. Which sux 2 the max.. Guys would start hatin u n won't talk to u ever.. They will become mre heartles.. But when guys lyk girls, they think dat they can get watever they wan. This, im also speakin from experience. They wld try to do anythin 2 get the gals they wan. While gals hu does this, will be considered as despo. Even their frens wld encourage them. While 4 girls, the guys frens wld ask them 2 giv hym up.. Why must this rules be lyk this? Can't this change? Why must guys get what they want while girls can't? Why must we get rejected all of the tyme?? Im sick of this rejection. This fuckin shit is ruinin my life. None of this is helpin me.. Maybe they are to me as this is makin me 2 be mre heartless.. Dats one of the reasons why i cant cry as much as my family members.. Cause of the rejection i had in the same.. Guys also lyk to play along wit the hearts of the gals.. Who do u think we are?? Stupid?? Please la.. We do have minds as well.. Its jus dat sometimes, our heart will overtake our minds..

I jus cant stop thinkin bout u.. If u wanna noe the translation badly, why arent u pleadin me to tell u? Every night i would dream bout u.. Sux to the fuckin max.. Well, im proud of myself in a way.. Im nt cryin anymre.. Not lyk last year.. Jus realised dat I wasted my years.... Dun ask y.. Waste of time... So sorry guys.. If u expect me to cry, it wont happen anymre... Because of all the heartless guys out there... U guys are makin me more emotionless n heartless... Even i get pissd off too often aldy..

When u guys force me to go out wit u guys, for what?? u guys think dat I won't be left out.. Well news flash ppl, I am! U thk dat jus hangin out wit u guys can relieve my stress.. But when u guys starts 2 bastard each other, im jus bein left out again.. U promised me that I wun be left out.. I don't see those promises at all.. Every min i feel lyk goin home.. I dun care how close we were anymre.. I jus wanna go home.. If u didnt noe i was these heartless, well, think again... Den when i told u guys how lonely I was, u guys will say y didnt i accept... Well, when u guys didnt lyk hym much as a fren.. Why shld I accpt hym.. i have my own feelings.. Yes, im being heartless for sayin all of these.. But none of u guys are understandin me at all! U guys are jus makin me feel pathetic.. Jus be prepared dat i am bein mre heartless.. When it gets to the end of june.. Jus be prepared.. Cause i cant stand it anymre.. U guys have no idea how badly I have felt.. U guys thk dat u noe everythin bout love and frenship jus cause i kept quiet.. Well again, news flash.. I have experienced mre since i was in primary school.. For what u say that u understand.. U just dont.. Dats how i feel lyk now.. If u feel lyk im back-stabbing u, probably, i hav felt the same way b4.. Jus think what u have done in the past 2 make me feel n act these way... To tell u the truth, i had a secret blog 2 post all of these.. i found out dat its a waste of tyme.. im jus gonna type all of it here.. At least im so called relievin my stress... Jus dun come and ask me who im typin bout.. i will never tell YOU!

PRESENTATION!!
God, my presentation sux lyk shit.. Haiz.. Was shakin lyk hell.. Even Matin n Daryl saw..Haiz.. Sianz.. Still thinking.. Tryin 2 giv hym up but its harder den I thought! Almost everyone is preventin me to... Sux la.. Luckily its the hols.. Will practice to giv hym up.. Sianz.. I onli wanna be vice.. Nt mre than dat..

Damn it!
Last night, I jus typed on my fb status dat im givin hym up, as long as he dun appear in front of me, i wun change my mind. Why tdy den he appear? Can he jus stop doin dat? Why last week i nvr see hym at all den saw hym almst the whole day?! Sux to the max, u noe! Tdy had the sexuality talk. Den formed a grp wit Abi, Michael and Sean. Talkd somethin bout differentiatin between a guy n a gal by their non-bio ways. Lyk their behaviours and attitude. Den we had to do what are our ideal feminime or masculine. One of the sentence jus made us horny. Desires sex. Me n abi jus turnd horny right away. Too bad, no one can stop me:P Released some exam marks. Everyone was good excpt for SS. Disappointd in myself 4 dat. Hopin dat i can pass Eng.. Im so afraid. Hopin dat i can pass A Maths as well.. So scary!!

Pls leave me alone will u.. Why must u appear in front of me tdy? Stp makin eye contact! U kept makin me change my mind. Which den will leave me stranded.. If tmr, u r gonna do the same, im jus gonna turn away n pretend u r nt there.. I dun care anymore.. i hope so..

SUX SUX SUX!!
God, Hate this life.. The onli thing dat makes me relief is jus readin those darn books. I've aldy promisd myself to nt get addictd.. Wow, broke dat promise lyk siao.. Every second will be horny. But hu cares! Can someone jus stab me now! I hate this ache in my heart! Blastin music lyk hell.. Flopped malay oral jus now.. but hu cares.. No one does..

Damn!
Tmr got A Maths.. I noe dat tmr will go home straight away 2 practice wit mum mly oral.. Sianz.. Must pass.. Must be able to speak.. So tired.. One more paper.. Should concentrate!! Its A Maths!!! Argh!! Feelin so sad n cold.. Haiz.. I hate my life to the max.. I was hopin to rain heavily.. So dat i cld walk in it.. N let my troubles flow along wit it.. Yes, im thinkin sick.. But hu cares.. No one does..

Help me!!
My heart is shattered into pieces.. I duno wat 2 do now.. Why doesnt anyone understands me anymre.. Maybe cause i nvr tell them.. But its no use if I do anyway.. Every second im turnin rebellious.. Dat means no more Miss Nice.. Or Miss Sensitive.. I hate ths feelin.. Especially when the guy u lyk indirectly hurt u. Why cant u jus stab me?! Anyone! jus take a knife n stab me now! At least i wun go to hell 4 committin suicide.. Jus felt lyk postin these videos..





I dunno wat to do wit myself now.. Im addicted to those books again.. nid to borrow more on Thurs.. Nid borrow more of those books.. They are temptin me..





Dunno why im postin these.. but im jus bored..

What I send hym..
I was feelin guilty that i slept only at 5.. Was readin books all the way... Sent somethin.. Somethin that he wun understand unless he askd someone 2 translate it 4 hym.. This is wat I send..:
Mengapalah aku suka dgn kau? Aku pun pun tk tahu knape.. Kalau kau berada di depan aku, aku akan berasa gembira. Tetapi kalau tk, aku akan berase sedih..Aku benci diri sendiri utk menukai kau. Selalu kau tdk akan berbual dgn saya. Kau hdk tahu bila aku mula menyukai kau? Sejak kami dgn budk ncc yg lain berbual di kfc..Aku tk tahu kalau kau tahu tentg ini.. Memang betul aku selalu menggangu kau. Tetapi, aku selalu harus lupakan diri sendiri utk berbual dgn kau. kehidupan aku semakin sedih dn aku tk tahu knape. Tetapi kau, harus memberi aku satu ayat yg berkate 'cn u pls stop boderin me'. Aku memang bodoh. Sepatutnye, aky tdk harus mengikt ke kfc.. Haiz.. Aku menulis surat ini do jam 5 pagi krane aku berasa bersalah. Skrang, suara di hati saya berkata jgn berhenti menyukainya. Tetapi di kepalaku, ia berkata aku memang bodoh utk menyukainya, Aku telah tamat menulis surat ini. Gd luck understandn ths.. Selamat pagi..


This wat happend... Sux to the max.. the onli thing dat cn relieve myself is jus Super junior n studies.. Was watchin Bonamana.. Rox!! haha.. Sori, changin my mood... Will change again lyk 5 mins later...

Who am I??
I have no idea anymre.. Why must i lyk hym.. Wat did i do 2 deserve this?? Can't i stop botherin hym?? B4 i ask this ques, i shld ask this.. Cant i 4get hym?? Shouldnt i focus on my studies?? Doin this is jus a waste of tyme.. Nthin is goin in my way.. Might as well be rebellious but study smart.. No one cares... Sori ppl, if u guys thinks i've changed.. Well, lets jus say i cant take it anymre.. I hav my own feelings.. Its my life.. My choice whether i should be rebellious or not.. which means no one is 2 stop me if i even wanna kill a police officer.. Even if i wanna take my life.. Even if im betrayin my own fren..Dats how sad my life is.. Especially when no one tells me anythin.. Or when nothin is goin in my own way 4 the past 15 years..

Hows life?
When ppl ask me this random ques, wld also give random ans as well. However, the words inside my head that wants to ans this ques is, Sux to the max! Why do u care? No one does.. Suppose 2 be happy 4 Mothers' Day.. Well as u can see.. Im nt... Inside of bein so happy.. Im back to my annoyed state. No idea whats botherin me so don't ask me.. Its not worth it. It will jus make me feel more annoyed. Gave u a warnin aldy.. Gonna read a book bout murders.. Maybe my life is turnin upside dwn dats y im readin those books again.. Oh well, im turnin back to my rebellious state. Hope it wun hurt my frens as once I start, will be hard 2 end. Unless I change skl lyk wat I did from pri skl to sec skl.. So next tyme when any of u ask this ques, u will noe wats goin through my mind even if I ans random answers.. Hope u ppl will learn this lesson n dun ask this ques 2 me ever again..

I hav no idea wats happenin 2 me.. Weird... Im full of emotions.. but sadness is overtakin it.. Im lyk the cinderella from cinderella's stepsis.. No idea y.. Maybe got too addicted 2 the show.. Haiz.. Must study later.. I keep on skippin my meals.. Who cares.. No one does...

Bored
So bored nowadays.. One more week for SA1.. Gonna start tmr.. So tired.. Slackin lyk hell nwadays.. 1st paper is Geo and E maths paper 1. Damn.. Oh, btw, those hu wanna noe wat im doin.. Dun look at blog post n ask me update.. Too lazy 2.. Jus go my twitter.. Solves ur prob,ppl?

So lazy to update... Dun feel lyk it...